call me the emotigger

as i'm an emotivist who blogs mostly when i'm sad because i think i can write better when the foulest feeling fills me. 

but yes you can see that, i'm still lame as ever. haha. still no blog post for now cos i'm super happy today. so till then.

note: as if there are still people who reads my blog. lol

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i have alot in my mind to rant everything out here yet i've lost the ability to turn them into words. maybe i should start again my blogging habit to pick up the mood again.

something

24th JUNE 2013

im laughing at myself on how childish i sounded on my previous posts. and also im astonished on how much i grew for the past few months. thanks to someone i've learnt alot, especially dealing with people. im much more well prepared to deal with some certain people with issues. you can call that, im steadier than ever lol

anyway you might notice that i always blog when im sad. but today im not.
im happy these days. or i should say, these few weeks. he dosent allow any moment of sadness in me. he dosent allow loneliness to attack me. he makes me feel like a princess. he is the new cause of my smile now.

i just wanna thank him for being here. he never realize how much he makes me smile everyday, so let's just keep this a secret between me and you for now. i guess i will tell him someday else.

deterioration

assignments, lab reports, journals. flu, on and off fevers, cough cough cough.
they are killing me.




just so sick. just so stress. just like that.

BTS

'hi how are you?'
its 12.35am sunday morning. my stomach grumbles and i only started a bit on the revision for monday's test.

and my room is like a mess. clothes and books spread all over my bed. not the whole bed though, there is a part or the corner of the bed which got no books nor clothes cos its the place i sleep. if my mom sees this shes going to yell at me until my eardrum burst.
dirty clothes pilling up in my recycle bag. the bread that i bought sitting below my working table, growing mould quietly. hairs all over the floor, i cant remember when is the last time i swept my floor. chocolate case full with chocolate wraps is still on my table. lab manuals reports journals study log and notes all stacked on my table and a little space for me to move my mouse. guitar sitting beside unzipped and my capo is missing. so as my pendrive, which stores all my works including my secretary works.

sometimes i m happy, im grateful to have so many lovely friends who pamper me so much when they know im not in good state. sometimes i feel like they dont know anything about me. sometimes i feel like im a grown up to have independent life to bear with so much me times and task to be responsible of. sometimes im tired with all these works keeping me so so busy all the time. sometimes im grateful to have these works to keep me busy so as to get use to this kind of life. sometimes im mad with that attention seeker's immatured actions. sometimes i understand, he is lonely and needs a friend. sometimes im glad that we are still friends. sometimes im sad because we are only friends now. sometimes im glad that we have different lives to carry out so there is no awkwardness yet sometimes, it kills for not knowing what you are doing right now.

'im fine'
, just tired and hungry.
and i swear that im going to tidy up my room tomorrow.