22 February 2013
deterioration
assignments, lab reports, journals. flu, on and off fevers, cough cough cough.
they are killing me.
just so sick. just so stress. just like that.
02 February 2013
BTS
'hi how are you?'
its 12.35am sunday morning. my stomach grumbles and i only started a bit on the revision for monday's test.
and my room is like a mess. clothes and books spread all over my bed. not the whole bed though, there is a part or the corner of the bed which got no books nor clothes cos its the place i sleep. if my mom sees this shes going to yell at me until my eardrum burst.
dirty clothes pilling up in my recycle bag. the bread that i bought sitting below my working table, growing mould quietly. hairs all over the floor, i cant remember when is the last time i swept my floor. chocolate case full with chocolate wraps is still on my table. lab manuals reports journals study log and notes all stacked on my table and a little space for me to move my mouse. guitar sitting beside unzipped and my capo is missing. so as my pendrive, which stores all my works including my secretary works.
sometimes i m happy, im grateful to have so many lovely friends who pamper me so much when they know im not in good state. sometimes i feel like they dont know anything about me. sometimes i feel like im a grown up to have independent life to bear with so much me times and task to be responsible of. sometimes im tired with all these works keeping me so so busy all the time. sometimes im grateful to have these works to keep me busy so as to get use to this kind of life. sometimes im mad with that attention seeker's immatured actions. sometimes i understand, he is lonely and needs a friend. sometimes im glad that we are still friends. sometimes im sad because we are only friends now. sometimes im glad that we have different lives to carry out so there is no awkwardness yet sometimes, it kills for not knowing what you are doing right now.
'im fine'
, just tired and hungry.
and i swear that im going to tidy up my room tomorrow.
its 12.35am sunday morning. my stomach grumbles and i only started a bit on the revision for monday's test.
and my room is like a mess. clothes and books spread all over my bed. not the whole bed though, there is a part or the corner of the bed which got no books nor clothes cos its the place i sleep. if my mom sees this shes going to yell at me until my eardrum burst.
dirty clothes pilling up in my recycle bag. the bread that i bought sitting below my working table, growing mould quietly. hairs all over the floor, i cant remember when is the last time i swept my floor. chocolate case full with chocolate wraps is still on my table. lab manuals reports journals study log and notes all stacked on my table and a little space for me to move my mouse. guitar sitting beside unzipped and my capo is missing. so as my pendrive, which stores all my works including my secretary works.
sometimes i m happy, im grateful to have so many lovely friends who pamper me so much when they know im not in good state. sometimes i feel like they dont know anything about me. sometimes i feel like im a grown up to have independent life to bear with so much me times and task to be responsible of. sometimes im tired with all these works keeping me so so busy all the time. sometimes im grateful to have these works to keep me busy so as to get use to this kind of life. sometimes im mad with that attention seeker's immatured actions. sometimes i understand, he is lonely and needs a friend. sometimes im glad that we are still friends. sometimes im sad because we are only friends now. sometimes im glad that we have different lives to carry out so there is no awkwardness yet sometimes, it kills for not knowing what you are doing right now.
'im fine'
, just tired and hungry.
and i swear that im going to tidy up my room tomorrow.
31 January 2013
28 January 2013
recovery
im back to the positive me.
days are still shit like, work flow just dont seem to end in any day, cracked my head on how to reply w/o showing too much enthusiasm, sleepless nights, emptiness.
they are still there. but it all dont seems too bad right now.
22 January 2013
monstrousity
too many unfinished works. too many unsaid feelings. too many things im not allowed to care about anymore. too many people i should left unworried about me. too many restless nights. too many responsibility to hold on. too many happy faces of him that i wish to see now.
they said this is only temporary. but now this moment feels like eternal.
like a monster, its too strong to fight.
they said this is only temporary. but now this moment feels like eternal.
like a monster, its too strong to fight.
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