#behsong

attention seeker always dont get along with me too well. 

especially when those who always boast about their results. 

no no i dont mean it when you boast WHEN YOU GET A GOOD ONE. what i mean is that kind of people who always say 'oh fuck im so gonna screw this test this time' or 'shit i didnt study for this i was gaming all night long yesterday' ...and the list goes on...

and in the end, they come out with A+ result and do smug face, 'eh how many you get ?'

come on, score with a class please. 

*im not being a bad person that talks behind people. i told him

 'oi come on la shut up'

sorry for the straightforwardness but i just couldnt help ;)

ze happy me :)

a friend in need is a friend indeed
im glad to say that im truly blessed to have friends like this ! <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
to be frankly speaking, i dont have any reason to be in sad mood. why care on those who dont give a shit on you and forgot people you have supporting you right :)

thanks U6S3, thanks all the very helpful uni fellows including ze funny coursemates, thanks old friends even though we DONT meet each other for N years yet still helpful when i just simply tweeted my stupid problems, thanks mom for those lectures ( IMY !) thanks everyone man !!

feeling so grateful and i might have yelled THANKS ALL if my roommate wasnt deep in sleep already :b
plus side, its monday again ! woohoo ! brand new week starts all over again ! hope it will be a great one !

with lotsa lovee :)

i guess my hobby now is day dreaming
no matter when im exhausted from studying or getting so bored during sem break, i still sit there and think of nothing.
oh wait, its not a hobby anymore. its a habit. a bad habit.

friends around ask me 'oi dont emo lah' .
but actually, im not feeling sad or anything bothering me. *just sometimes it is. but most of the time, im day dreaming.

im still too busy to fill up this space, busy day dreaming.

loads to write but i dont know where to start :)

updates #1

im here in inti international university

for two days already :)

decided to write as much as i can throughout my uni life to keep this place alive. i know its been a lill bit dead these days cos i've got totally nothing to write about. 

so far so good, im liking this place alot. the people the places the food. yes the food ! there's quite a number of chinese food stall over here ! taste not bad and most the important thing is THEY ARE CHEAP ! can save some money here for my okinawa trip :b just the weather, sigh. i had to take two times of bath in nighttime cos im sweating right after my dinner :/

the orientation programme OLE wasnt that bad as i thought. probably its because of my group, most of them are active and outspoken people. so not much of boredom when we're having those stupid lame ice breaking session. fall down hard when we're having some activity called amoeba formation cos that needs alot of running and pulling each other and banging. now im grateful that he suggested getting a chair pad for my plastic chair cos my butt ache like hell D:

till now, my uni life has been going great. despite of some fish skin incidents which i choose not to disclose here, i've totally enjoyed my life here. i mean TILL NOW. someday u ll see me screaming out of boredom in future time but at least for now, its great :)

cant wait for 28th may to come ! to meet course mates and getting really into the uni life ! GBM ! 

bless my family my friends and wsl too. missing them alot at here 

kiss goodbyes

one last night to spend my time in my own room, ALONE before starting my uni life
yes im going to have a roommate tomorrow. that means no more throwing dirty clothes on floor no more messy tables. taking twin sharing room cos its so much cheaper and its better to know that someone is beside you if any la sam ye happens. downside is im going to have a tidier life style, as someone else is watching me.
so here, i gotta kiss my privacy and freedom goodbye

i dont know what's wrong with me but the reluctant to leave this town feeling hasnt hit me yet. nor any excitement to new environment either. just like that ............... these days im always like that ..............
even myself pun started to feel bored about my own. hello what's wrong ?

hope uni life will do something good to me. at least find back my giler giler mood ? aha. i miss it alot ;)

till then. all the best yap ke xin ! RAWR !

futuristic

MAY is here.
will be going to move to some new place at the end of this month.
going to start my uni life ;)

many do sounds shocked and like huh?? that i tooked biotechnology, cos all the time i was just physiotheraphy physio physio physio.
but what to do. my results aint good enough. so.. :) i do feel something like betray after i made that decision though. the thing that i've been holding on for so many years, and just letting it go like that.
but still, i will work hard to be responsible for my decision. have to. must.

3 more years to enter the society. countdown from now.
all the best, to me.
to everyone
to us

best foot forward

im deeply sorry to ignore this space for so long. i am.
things hadnt be good for me for the last few weeks. were so so so messed up. didnt have the urge to spill it here anyway so just skip that part. it's not over yet, but it's getting sorted up.

yeah it is. i am glad, eternally thankful for those who's still there with me when im on my worst condition.

will update this site with more happy elements ! life is full of bitter and sweet right so im sure the good part is not far from me now ;)

hopefully;

since im sure that tonight i will have my most serious insomnia of all night, i decided to write something here.

the results are coming out TOMORROW. totally freaking out. although i know how my results will be, i still cant help to hope a little. maybe this maybe that everyday... driving me mad.
now at the very last min, i'm blank. total blanco. dont know what to expect already. just not too bad will do
and
no more emotional outburst on public if it's bad. i need to have some mental preparation for any posibilities. i'm just scared that i will break down again if i got anything really bad on the slip. 20yrs old this year, SO crying at public is like so shameful already. i lost track on counting the times that i've broken down at public. 

so from now on, i must control my own emotions. whatever happens, poker face is the key.
but of course, i dont hope to have these kind of situation happen on me. just in case. my target aint high. but still hard to achieve for me. need alot of luck. need alot of blessing from Guan Yin Jesus Buddha Allah......
i dont know what i'm blabbering now. alot of feelings heaving up.

just HOPE AND PRAY FOR ME. i will thank you deeply for that.

TOMORROW WILL BE A GOOD DAY TO EVERYONE OF US. 

and see you with a smiling face, i hope (:

how come both of them sounds so similar

#gasp

#stunned.

had lived feeling like a failure recently.
like how i couldnt comfort a friend who's sad and giving shitty advices only
like how i still cannot tune my guitar after those tutorials videos on youtube
like how my student still cannot recognize peter and jane
like how i............



like how i know how bad will my results is,



long sigh.

still hoping for the best to happen. hope march will be good to me.

Cut those Anti-Lynas bullshit. It has been used as a political tool to fool people like you. It is a done deal. and if you are foolish enough to think that it is possible to stop Lynas, think again. Lynas can always move to somewhere else in the world (aka: alternatively screwing up another country). so, why not skip your halfwitted complains about possible hazards that Lynas could bring and direct the effort to implement effective regulations to guide Lynas' waste treatment process, while takin full advantage of the benefits that it could bring to our frail economy and job market?

some different view on the lynas thing. make sense in some ways.

total crap in some ways too. althou it seems impossible, anti-lynas is never a bullshit. 

im not someone who's really into this issue. but i still know roughly what's the situation now. 

just one: please be considerate and put yourself into the situation. 

this is to everyone. to everything. 

hello again !

i notice i said alot of hello-s in the beginning of some of my post. ahahaha
well this time it's because i more into the mood of reading instead of writting/typing. now it's gone and im back to my own stories again !
bought da vinci code last week from popular, and i just bought it because it's famous and cheap and i needed a new novel so badly. i didnt know what the hell it's talking about before that. no preview no trailer. and im damn glad that i bought it ! i must say that it's almost good as harry potter to me ! althou alot of french names inside that made my head whirls alot, the story line is definately captivating. kept me busy and alot of late sleep nights and pimples popping out like fireworks.

yeah let's get back to the real life. stop the da vinci mania for awhile (:
i almost hope that my real life is like robert langdon's. flying across the countries and with minutes as the time measurement. i didnt mean it literally but what i want is, uhmm, a little bit more sparks. at least not dull like now. get up, work, facebook, twitter, sleep. and resume the routine tomorrow. ahhhh.. what can i say more. you know my feelings, dont you. i almost miss my busy life in the past now. all the extra time now is just making me sick and my brain system is getting down. getting stupid-er. stupid until dont know how to use my own phone.

talking about phone. yeah i got a blackberry as my present from mom recently (: i always like BB more than iphone because it has a qwerty keyboard. i loathed touch screens phone altho it looks cool to swipe your phone with just one finger. i will admit that much. i got the phone w/o signing on any plan. i didnt know that every BB user must at least sign up with a BIS plan to fully utilize the smartphone. not until fiona explained why my credits are mysteriously disappearing. i dont text and make phone calls alot but i still exceed my monthly 30 ringgit phone bills. DAFUQ. and now i swear to survey and study all the smart plans that those tele companies offer ASAP. and sign on for one as well.

see, i told you im getting stupidier now. even a phone can outsmart me now.

sigh.




the results are rumored to be released tomorrow. but thank god. the rumor remains. i knew that i've flung it hard. just not ready to accept it as in black and white statement.

i do notice somethings. that february is coming to an end. feb is a good month for me aha. i still have the padini birthday card which entitle me a 30% disc on my shopping, starbucks free beverage for my birthday, cleo 50% off on selected saloon like maroons and a quicksilver cash voucher that i got for shopping at roxy for cny. anyway that one reached it's expiry already. what a waste.
so anyone up to a shopping at padini or chill out at starbucks ? please date me before feb ends please.
on call 24hrs

i will wait from now :)
TBC. hope life is getting more colors <3


p/s: DAFUQ is one new word i notice recently. it means fuck that in some way right ? i hope i didnt get it wrong.
pp/s: my birthday had been a GREAT day. all thanks to my beloved family and friends. thanks for all the effort. and also those priceless presents. and also the sincere wishes. i love you all, very much

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leaked gas

chinese new year in 2012 dosent really have a lot of unexpected happenings, nor excitement.
again, overeating, gambling, eat again, this time drink abit and, gamble again. thank god i'm kiamsiap enough so i didnt lose alot. didnt win alot either.

i dont know why im losing some passion on my life recently. i had fun, alot and i enjoyed it. just no excitement. no sparks. everyday going out early in the morning to visit and back to home in the evening. sometimes abit of night outings. but honestly, im more looking forward on the going home part. back to home, run a hot nice bath and lie lazily on my bed with my favourite old novel. i didnt sleep alot though, i just like to slack at home. and day dream.

i hate myself being like that. will you please come back, yap ke xin.
YELL OUT LOUD

When you feel you're alone

          Cut off from this cruel world

Your instinct's telling you to run



Listen to your heart
      Those angel voices

They'll sing to you
They'll be your guide

Back home



When life leaves us blind

Love keeps us kind

It keeps us kind



When you've suffered enough

And your spirit is breaking

You're growing desperate from the fight



Remember you're loved
And you always will be
This melody will bring you right
Back home



When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind


When life leaves us blind


Love keeps us kind








lovin this so so much.whatthefuck (:

简单平凡的生活
泛起阵阵的涟漪





实在是不太好受





there's always a part of my heart which is with you.?

bad bad day

11 JAN 2012
my super bad day, ever. super soi stuff just happened on me throughout the day. yes, started after i stepped out from the house.

like usual i went out from the house on 0950am to go for work and left the keys inside the house for my brother by throwing it back into the house. BUT, after i thrown the keys into my house, i only realised that i havent took my car keys. i tried to reach it with the broom the mop and anything's long i can find but failed, cos i thrown it too far. finally, i had to phone my dad to purposely come back from the bank to open the house door for me. well yes, tantrums. he was getting mad with black face cos he's busy. feel so sorry about that but, what can i do.
and yeah yeah. im late to work. and it's raining. so i parked my car infront of my working place ( usually i parked it at the back alley cos that dont need to put parking ticket which i dont have any left already). and when i go for my break around 12pm, i found myself a parking saman ticket in a plastic bag to prevent it from damping. i dont know why i still get saman-s in the rainy day cos usually they dont saman you during rainy days. so i went to peek on the car that parked beside me. that dont have parking ticket either, and dont have parking saman *throw hands in exasperation*
note: it's a RM20 fine. provided i pay within 14days. if i dont, i have to pay RM50 for parking there .______.
so i went to the bank during my bank to bank in money. this was my first time to bank in myself so im so super blur, and act stupidly. i wasnt aware that the bank machine dont accept 5 ringgit notes ( call me noob, yes you may) and i was about to put in a 5 ringgit note together with my 50 ringgit note, until a random uncle stopped me. i was so so super mortified cos he's actually yelling on me to stop me. so the whole room can hear what he's saying and everyone was looking me differently after that. i have to hide my red face in my hair and fast fast pull out a 10 ringgit note and continue my transaction. my bill is RM55 but i payed RM60 now. RM5 lost, with deep mortification. soi sial.
after that i decided to go for my favourite place to have brunch. the journey wasnt smooth due to the traffic and im ravenous already. i finally found a parking space in this busy lunch hour and walk to the place, and found out it was closed. there was no other eating shop nearby though. tears was spilling down finally without my notice T.T what can i do instead of going back to my car and drive back to my workplace and have the worst chocolate waffle in my life. that wasnt cheering me up even a tad.

all these happened starting from 950am until 1230pm, only. i hardly can smile and talk alot like usual during work and some was asking why i looked so emo. anyway the rest of the day was boring like usual and the CNY song still suck as ever and the sales were still bad :(

now im back in home drenched and tired and smelly and my whole family went to sleep already *deep sigh* i think i should just go for bath and take my medicine. going to sleep early tonight. afterall, i still have my smelly fluffy dog (not alive one) waiting for me and the sun will still rise tomorrow again, hopefully it's not a bad and rainy day  (:



well sometimes i do hope that something alive is waiting for me.
nevermind it's just a thought.

IM BACKKKKKK, with worries

i quit blogging for so long until i forgotten my mail address and password. took me 15mins to get it here. but nevermind, i am here now, and i will continue, to blog (:

i am not sure what iam going to write it down here bcos there's too much stuff swirling in my mind, i want to write everything in here. literally.




well obviously i cant. you might have sensed it as i press the 'enter' key to the next line so frequent. which is my little trick to make it looks longer. i think it's bcos i didnt write for too long. i mean writting a continuous flow form of words. all i deal in the past were just numbers and stating facts that end with the dot in every 5 words. now you see, i tends to do that again.
again nevermind, i promise i will start to practise to write, in a continuously form again. but for now,

please bear with my abruptly endings and too much enter key pressing.
and i will tell you everything exactly what's in my mind.


i am really starting to worry about my results, which i know that it wont be pretty. dad was suggesting on the other day that maybe i should go for degree courses in private univerrsities instead of slacking until september for public universities which couldnt guarantee to offer you your wanted courses. they are so well known for not offering the choices that you've chosen. but if you have a superlicious looking results then that would have solve the problem abit by going to the media complain loud loud and make a troll face to be published on the news. anyway that wasnt the problem solver for everyone, especially me. told cha my results wont be even close to superlicious looking so even i complain loud loud and make troll face, no one would bother to take notice on you. and so i always have this thinking: what if they pick me to go for perikanan. you see, i know the number of fishes in this world is far more than the population of human and it's a great source of protein so nutritious to human and it has so many unknown type of fishy which awaits to be discovered that could make you famous if you discovered one of them you can even name the fish after you and it's an alternative way to boost up the country's economic by exporting exotic fishes but im just not that interested to go indepth about fish. fin. finito. leave the fish thingy. 
and now i have a problem to state. what should i take then. there was once when im so sure that i will go into physioteraphy but now i am not that sure anymore. i am not even sure whether to continue mingling in the world of science. science wasnt my best subject, the time in my form6 has proven this enough to warn. but where i go then. every field comes up to me and there's nothing i am compatible with. after science is math. chinese are known to do good math but my math is even worst, my least favourite subject of all and dont even mention about the results. if the level math proficiency is used to determine whether you're a chinese or not, i think i might be losing my chinese surname. business and management, i know only shit about these field and i guess i am not gifted with brains which can turns 90 degree sharply at critical points. business people have that right eh. arts and design ? i can already foresee me starving to death with a charcoal drawing pen in my hand, catching my last breath in the cold empty street. language, ha ha ha. how could this even pop out, after my failed continuous flow of writting. silly you.
i dont know what else left besides the job which specifically needs you to sweep the roadside only, or kakak ( professionally known as domestic helpers).


woo i know i am being so super negative which annoys you so much (annoys me too i hate being negative)  and you would say things like problems will have it own ways to solve when time comes. but now the time hasnt arrive yet. so what can i do is just worrying fretting and complaining. which made up a huge part of my holiday now after sticking up with lee min ho ( the larger part).

which suddenly gives me an idea.
i can be the lee min ho-paparazzi. only tagging lee min ho. only.
my life then can be super happy, forever (:

i shall shut my lappie down and continue my dream on my bed now.
nights.