04 January 2012

IM BACKKKKKK, with worries

i quit blogging for so long until i forgotten my mail address and password. took me 15mins to get it here. but nevermind, i am here now, and i will continue, to blog (:

i am not sure what iam going to write it down here bcos there's too much stuff swirling in my mind, i want to write everything in here. literally.




well obviously i cant. you might have sensed it as i press the 'enter' key to the next line so frequent. which is my little trick to make it looks longer. i think it's bcos i didnt write for too long. i mean writting a continuous flow form of words. all i deal in the past were just numbers and stating facts that end with the dot in every 5 words. now you see, i tends to do that again.
again nevermind, i promise i will start to practise to write, in a continuously form again. but for now,

please bear with my abruptly endings and too much enter key pressing.
and i will tell you everything exactly what's in my mind.


i am really starting to worry about my results, which i know that it wont be pretty. dad was suggesting on the other day that maybe i should go for degree courses in private univerrsities instead of slacking until september for public universities which couldnt guarantee to offer you your wanted courses. they are so well known for not offering the choices that you've chosen. but if you have a superlicious looking results then that would have solve the problem abit by going to the media complain loud loud and make a troll face to be published on the news. anyway that wasnt the problem solver for everyone, especially me. told cha my results wont be even close to superlicious looking so even i complain loud loud and make troll face, no one would bother to take notice on you. and so i always have this thinking: what if they pick me to go for perikanan. you see, i know the number of fishes in this world is far more than the population of human and it's a great source of protein so nutritious to human and it has so many unknown type of fishy which awaits to be discovered that could make you famous if you discovered one of them you can even name the fish after you and it's an alternative way to boost up the country's economic by exporting exotic fishes but im just not that interested to go indepth about fish. fin. finito. leave the fish thingy. 
and now i have a problem to state. what should i take then. there was once when im so sure that i will go into physioteraphy but now i am not that sure anymore. i am not even sure whether to continue mingling in the world of science. science wasnt my best subject, the time in my form6 has proven this enough to warn. but where i go then. every field comes up to me and there's nothing i am compatible with. after science is math. chinese are known to do good math but my math is even worst, my least favourite subject of all and dont even mention about the results. if the level math proficiency is used to determine whether you're a chinese or not, i think i might be losing my chinese surname. business and management, i know only shit about these field and i guess i am not gifted with brains which can turns 90 degree sharply at critical points. business people have that right eh. arts and design ? i can already foresee me starving to death with a charcoal drawing pen in my hand, catching my last breath in the cold empty street. language, ha ha ha. how could this even pop out, after my failed continuous flow of writting. silly you.
i dont know what else left besides the job which specifically needs you to sweep the roadside only, or kakak ( professionally known as domestic helpers).


woo i know i am being so super negative which annoys you so much (annoys me too i hate being negative)  and you would say things like problems will have it own ways to solve when time comes. but now the time hasnt arrive yet. so what can i do is just worrying fretting and complaining. which made up a huge part of my holiday now after sticking up with lee min ho ( the larger part).

which suddenly gives me an idea.
i can be the lee min ho-paparazzi. only tagging lee min ho. only.
my life then can be super happy, forever (:

i shall shut my lappie down and continue my dream on my bed now.
nights.

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