chinese new year in 2012 dosent really have a lot of unexpected happenings, nor excitement.
again, overeating, gambling, eat again, this time drink abit and, gamble again. thank god i'm kiamsiap enough so i didnt lose alot. didnt win alot either.
i dont know why im losing some passion on my life recently. i had fun, alot and i enjoyed it. just no excitement. no sparks. everyday going out early in the morning to visit and back to home in the evening. sometimes abit of night outings. but honestly, im more looking forward on the going home part. back to home, run a hot nice bath and lie lazily on my bed with my favourite old novel. i didnt sleep alot though, i just like to slack at home. and day dream.
i hate myself being like that. will you please come back, yap ke xin.
YELL OUT LOUD
29 January 2012
24 January 2012
When you feel you're alone
Cut off from this cruel world
Your instinct's telling you to run
Listen to your heart
Those angel voices
They'll sing to you
They'll be your guide
Back home
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
It keeps us kind
When you've suffered enough
And your spirit isbreaking
You're growing desperate from the fight
Remember you're loved
And you always will be
This melody will bring you right
Back home
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
lovin this so so much.whatthefuck (:
Cut off from this cruel world
Your instinct's telling you to run
Listen to your heart
Those angel voices
They'll sing to you
They'll be your guide
Back home
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
It keeps us kind
When you've suffered enough
And your spirit is
You're growing desperate from the fight
Remember you're loved
And you always will be
This melody will bring you right
Back home
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
lovin this so so much.whatthefuck (:
19 January 2012
11 January 2012
bad bad day
11 JAN 2012
my super bad day, ever. super soi stuff just happened on me throughout the day. yes, started after i stepped out from the house.
like usual i went out from the house on 0950am to go for work and left the keys inside the house for my brother by throwing it back into the house. BUT, after i thrown the keys into my house, i only realised that i havent took my car keys. i tried to reach it with the broom the mop and anything's long i can find but failed, cos i thrown it too far. finally, i had to phone my dad to purposely come back from the bank to open the house door for me. well yes, tantrums. he was getting mad with black face cos he's busy. feel so sorry about that but, what can i do.
and yeah yeah. im late to work. and it's raining. so i parked my car infront of my working place ( usually i parked it at the back alley cos that dont need to put parking ticket which i dont have any left already). and when i go for my break around 12pm, i found myself a parking saman ticket in a plastic bag to prevent it from damping. i dont know why i still get saman-s in the rainy day cos usually they dont saman you during rainy days. so i went to peek on the car that parked beside me. that dont have parking ticket either, and dont have parking saman *throw hands in exasperation*
note: it's a RM20 fine. provided i pay within 14days. if i dont, i have to pay RM50 for parking there .______.
so i went to the bank during my bank to bank in money. this was my first time to bank in myself so im so super blur, and act stupidly. i wasnt aware that the bank machine dont accept 5 ringgit notes ( call me noob, yes you may) and i was about to put in a 5 ringgit note together with my 50 ringgit note, until a random uncle stopped me. i was so so super mortified cos he's actually yelling on me to stop me. so the whole room can hear what he's saying and everyone was looking me differently after that. i have to hide my red face in my hair and fast fast pull out a 10 ringgit note and continue my transaction. my bill is RM55 but i payed RM60 now. RM5 lost, with deep mortification. soi sial.
after that i decided to go for my favourite place to have brunch. the journey wasnt smooth due to the traffic and im ravenous already. i finally found a parking space in this busy lunch hour and walk to the place, and found out it was closed. there was no other eating shop nearby though. tears was spilling down finally without my notice T.T what can i do instead of going back to my car and drive back to my workplace and have the worst chocolate waffle in my life. that wasnt cheering me up even a tad.
all these happened starting from 950am until 1230pm, only. i hardly can smile and talk alot like usual during work and some was asking why i looked so emo. anyway the rest of the day was boring like usual and the CNY song still suck as ever and the sales were still bad :(
now im back in home drenched and tired and smelly and my whole family went to sleep already *deep sigh* i think i should just go for bath and take my medicine. going to sleep early tonight. afterall, i still have my smelly fluffy dog (not alive one) waiting for me and the sun will still rise tomorrow again, hopefully it's not a bad and rainy day (:
well sometimes i do hope that something alive is waiting for me.
nevermind it's just a thought.
my super bad day, ever. super soi stuff just happened on me throughout the day. yes, started after i stepped out from the house.
like usual i went out from the house on 0950am to go for work and left the keys inside the house for my brother by throwing it back into the house. BUT, after i thrown the keys into my house, i only realised that i havent took my car keys. i tried to reach it with the broom the mop and anything's long i can find but failed, cos i thrown it too far. finally, i had to phone my dad to purposely come back from the bank to open the house door for me. well yes, tantrums. he was getting mad with black face cos he's busy. feel so sorry about that but, what can i do.
and yeah yeah. im late to work. and it's raining. so i parked my car infront of my working place ( usually i parked it at the back alley cos that dont need to put parking ticket which i dont have any left already). and when i go for my break around 12pm, i found myself a parking saman ticket in a plastic bag to prevent it from damping. i dont know why i still get saman-s in the rainy day cos usually they dont saman you during rainy days. so i went to peek on the car that parked beside me. that dont have parking ticket either, and dont have parking saman *throw hands in exasperation*
note: it's a RM20 fine. provided i pay within 14days. if i dont, i have to pay RM50 for parking there .______.
so i went to the bank during my bank to bank in money. this was my first time to bank in myself so im so super blur, and act stupidly. i wasnt aware that the bank machine dont accept 5 ringgit notes ( call me noob, yes you may) and i was about to put in a 5 ringgit note together with my 50 ringgit note, until a random uncle stopped me. i was so so super mortified cos he's actually yelling on me to stop me. so the whole room can hear what he's saying and everyone was looking me differently after that. i have to hide my red face in my hair and fast fast pull out a 10 ringgit note and continue my transaction. my bill is RM55 but i payed RM60 now. RM5 lost, with deep mortification. soi sial.
after that i decided to go for my favourite place to have brunch. the journey wasnt smooth due to the traffic and im ravenous already. i finally found a parking space in this busy lunch hour and walk to the place, and found out it was closed. there was no other eating shop nearby though. tears was spilling down finally without my notice T.T what can i do instead of going back to my car and drive back to my workplace and have the worst chocolate waffle in my life. that wasnt cheering me up even a tad.
all these happened starting from 950am until 1230pm, only. i hardly can smile and talk alot like usual during work and some was asking why i looked so emo. anyway the rest of the day was boring like usual and the CNY song still suck as ever and the sales were still bad :(
now im back in home drenched and tired and smelly and my whole family went to sleep already *deep sigh* i think i should just go for bath and take my medicine. going to sleep early tonight. afterall, i still have my smelly fluffy dog (not alive one) waiting for me and the sun will still rise tomorrow again, hopefully it's not a bad and rainy day (:
well sometimes i do hope that something alive is waiting for me.
nevermind it's just a thought.
04 January 2012
IM BACKKKKKK, with worries
i quit blogging for so long until i forgotten my mail address and password. took me 15mins to get it here. but nevermind, i am here now, and i will continue, to blog (:
i am not sure what iam going to write it down here bcos there's too much stuff swirling in my mind, i want to write everything in here. literally.
well obviously i cant. you might have sensed it as i press the 'enter' key to the next line so frequent. which is my little trick to make it looks longer. i think it's bcos i didnt write for too long. i mean writting a continuous flow form of words. all i deal in the past were just numbers and stating facts that end with the dot in every 5 words. now you see, i tends to do that again.
again nevermind, i promise i will start to practise to write, in a continuously form again. but for now,
please bear with my abruptly endings and too much enter key pressing.
and i will tell you everything exactly what's in my mind.
i am really starting to worry about my results, which i know that it wont be pretty. dad was suggesting on the other day that maybe i should go for degree courses in private univerrsities instead of slacking until september for public universities which couldnt guarantee to offer you your wanted courses. they are so well known for not offering the choices that you've chosen. but if you have a superlicious looking results then that would have solve the problem abit by going to the media complain loud loud and make a troll face to be published on the news. anyway that wasnt the problem solver for everyone, especially me. told cha my results wont be even close to superlicious looking so even i complain loud loud and make troll face, no one would bother to take notice on you. and so i always have this thinking: what if they pick me to go for perikanan. you see, i know the number of fishes in this world is far more than the population of human and it's a great source of protein so nutritious to human and it has so many unknown type of fishy which awaits to be discovered that could make you famous if you discovered one of them you can even name the fish after you and it's an alternative way to boost up the country's economic by exporting exotic fishes but im just not that interested to go indepth about fish. fin. finito. leave the fish thingy.
and now i have a problem to state. what should i take then. there was once when im so sure that i will go into physioteraphy but now i am not that sure anymore. i am not even sure whether to continue mingling in the world of science. science wasnt my best subject, the time in my form6 has proven this enough to warn. but where i go then. every field comes up to me and there's nothing i am compatible with. after science is math. chinese are known to do good math but my math is even worst, my least favourite subject of all and dont even mention about the results. if the level math proficiency is used to determine whether you're a chinese or not, i think i might be losing my chinese surname. business and management, i know only shit about these field and i guess i am not gifted with brains which can turns 90 degree sharply at critical points. business people have that right eh. arts and design ? i can already foresee me starving to death with a charcoal drawing pen in my hand, catching my last breath in the cold empty street. language, ha ha ha. how could this even pop out, after my failed continuous flow of writting. silly you.
i dont know what else left besides the job which specifically needs you to sweep the roadside only, or kakak ( professionally known as domestic helpers).
woo i know i am being so super negative which annoys you so much (annoys me too i hate being negative) and you would say things like problems will have it own ways to solve when time comes. but now the time hasnt arrive yet. so what can i do is just worrying fretting and complaining. which made up a huge part of my holiday now after sticking up with lee min ho ( the larger part).
which suddenly gives me an idea.
i can be the lee min ho-paparazzi. only tagging lee min ho. only.
my life then can be super happy, forever (:
i shall shut my lappie down and continue my dream on my bed now.
nights.
i am not sure what iam going to write it down here bcos there's too much stuff swirling in my mind, i want to write everything in here. literally.
well obviously i cant. you might have sensed it as i press the 'enter' key to the next line so frequent. which is my little trick to make it looks longer. i think it's bcos i didnt write for too long. i mean writting a continuous flow form of words. all i deal in the past were just numbers and stating facts that end with the dot in every 5 words. now you see, i tends to do that again.
again nevermind, i promise i will start to practise to write, in a continuously form again. but for now,
please bear with my abruptly endings and too much enter key pressing.
and i will tell you everything exactly what's in my mind.
i am really starting to worry about my results, which i know that it wont be pretty. dad was suggesting on the other day that maybe i should go for degree courses in private univerrsities instead of slacking until september for public universities which couldnt guarantee to offer you your wanted courses. they are so well known for not offering the choices that you've chosen. but if you have a superlicious looking results then that would have solve the problem abit by going to the media complain loud loud and make a troll face to be published on the news. anyway that wasnt the problem solver for everyone, especially me. told cha my results wont be even close to superlicious looking so even i complain loud loud and make troll face, no one would bother to take notice on you. and so i always have this thinking: what if they pick me to go for perikanan. you see, i know the number of fishes in this world is far more than the population of human and it's a great source of protein so nutritious to human and it has so many unknown type of fishy which awaits to be discovered that could make you famous if you discovered one of them you can even name the fish after you and it's an alternative way to boost up the country's economic by exporting exotic fishes but im just not that interested to go indepth about fish. fin. finito. leave the fish thingy.
and now i have a problem to state. what should i take then. there was once when im so sure that i will go into physioteraphy but now i am not that sure anymore. i am not even sure whether to continue mingling in the world of science. science wasnt my best subject, the time in my form6 has proven this enough to warn. but where i go then. every field comes up to me and there's nothing i am compatible with. after science is math. chinese are known to do good math but my math is even worst, my least favourite subject of all and dont even mention about the results. if the level math proficiency is used to determine whether you're a chinese or not, i think i might be losing my chinese surname. business and management, i know only shit about these field and i guess i am not gifted with brains which can turns 90 degree sharply at critical points. business people have that right eh. arts and design ? i can already foresee me starving to death with a charcoal drawing pen in my hand, catching my last breath in the cold empty street. language, ha ha ha. how could this even pop out, after my failed continuous flow of writting. silly you.
i dont know what else left besides the job which specifically needs you to sweep the roadside only, or kakak ( professionally known as domestic helpers).
woo i know i am being so super negative which annoys you so much (annoys me too i hate being negative) and you would say things like problems will have it own ways to solve when time comes. but now the time hasnt arrive yet. so what can i do is just worrying fretting and complaining. which made up a huge part of my holiday now after sticking up with lee min ho ( the larger part).
which suddenly gives me an idea.
i can be the lee min ho-paparazzi. only tagging lee min ho. only.
my life then can be super happy, forever (:
i shall shut my lappie down and continue my dream on my bed now.
nights.
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